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Watching porn is a rite of passage for most men. It begins with several visuals, like this proverbial Playboy magazine a group of friends passes around prior to they are old enough to learn what everything means. Eventually a young man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. In fact, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might turn into a man’s first foray into determining good penis care.

But when a guy begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside of the screen, he is all too often disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bed room. For the uninitiated, below are a few things to never actually expect to translate from the screen to the bed room.

1) Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video are usually very young and healthy. And if they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to cover any flaws. The result is the belief that a woman should look a particular way, and a guy should too. That may definitely lead to disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn have become rarely seen in a flaccid state. The moment a woman walks across the screen, they’re hard enough to crush diamonds. The truth is that most porn productions use a ‘fluffer’ – a woman whose only job is to get yourself a man hard before he walks onscreen. What appears to be ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Ladies in porn seem to feel as if every touch is orgasmic, and they may actually have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The truth is very different. Women usually require a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than simply a few seconds, to get turned on – much less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled with aural stimulation, which is section of why most guys think it’s great so much. And who wouldn’t? The problem is that women aren’t really going to make noises like that in the sack. Sure, they might be enthusiastic and make some noise, however the sounds in a porn film will not likely be replicated in the bed room.

5) Money shots. Here’s an interesting stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of the time. Usually they do it on her behalf body or most commonly, her face. The problem is that 80 percent of women in real life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? A similar thing is true of a woman who can do wild things in porn, like anal sex without any preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the situation has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t be prepared to replicate things like this!

Staying ready for the real thing

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